>>>FAQ<<<
Created: 10/11/04
Modified: 22/04/05
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"Objectify me and I'll
objectify you, and that will be our highest form of love. I don't want anything
intricate. I don't need S/M, special novel sex, touch-my-clit-this-way sex, be
sure to screw me only when the scent of rotten apples is filling the bed, make
sure that Vivaldi is playing, that the Backstreet Boys are blaring, fuck me with
pornography weighing us down on the bed, sit in the corner and dial up a 900
woman who will give you a blow job over the phone, and whack off for me - while
you retain a calm voice over the phone, shoot your spunk onto a centrefold, take
a bite of steak before making out with me, plant tulips and mangoes and apricots
in my cunt and eat them out of me, bronze my nipples and put them in the
Smithsonian, cast your torso and let me carry it around as a handbag, open up a
small café in my pussy and invite your parents and all your friends over for
coffee, look into my eyes and let your pupils dilate as you come and mouth my
name - and when you make me come, it's like a house with a goddamn chimney
flowing because you are home."
- From Feminist Writer Erin Cressida Wilson to her husband.
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>>> IDENTITY & BELIEFS
Q.011. How would you like to be addressed? And why?
A.011. Most people just call me 'Charme', which
is short
for my first name 'Charmain'...'Swee-Imm' is my middle name in Hokkein, which translates as 'Ruiyan'
in Mandarin (hence, the alias 'Ruiyyanko', which is a bastardised version of it). I have been known by other nicknames like 'Chow Mein' and
'Charmin' (after the toilet paper)...yeah yeah, so goddamn predictable...'Silly' being
another one of
them, quite appropriate when you take into account my initials - C.Lee, and 'Lille
Eskimit', bestowed on me by a Danish friend, because of that big furry coat I keep going
round in...also used to be called 'Little Firecracker', 'Babbie Wasabie' or 'Chilli Padi' (fruit's tiny
dimensions belie its fiery qualities) on account of my puny size and ...er...other
character attributes best not mentioned, particularly those that are highly
volatile,
but 'Charme' will get you a better response.
Quite frankly, having my name made fun of has never really bothered me. Bullies are essentially cowards who will look for any excuse...If it's not your name, it'd be something else...They're like some very young children...Give them something to play with, and who knows? It might distract them from other 'pursuits'.
Q.012. Do you like your real name?
A.012.
Not particularly bothered...But I
wish
people would stop mispronouncing (The 'ch' should sound like 'sh') or misspelling it...'Chairman Lee' might seem distinguished
to some ('Lee' being my surname), but I'm sure you'll agree it sounds quite silly for a
name!!!
Q.013. Where are you from?
A.013. The answer to
that is not as straightforward as it would be for most people...But you DID ask,
sooooo...don't say I didn't warn you!
Ok, brief history
lesson:
I was born in London (North Islington) which makes me British, but my dad’s Peranakan (mix of Chinese and Malay) and mum a Sino-Thai cocktail. Me dad was actually born in Hong Kong though, just before WWII ended. My great-grandfather (dad's side), a rich patron of Chiang Kai-Shek (check your history books...I've often wondered if that'll make me some sort of Asian blueblood), was from the Fujian province in China …We’ve got a huge portrait (hanging in the hall of one of our family homes) of great-grandpa looking down rather imperiously on all of us, and wearing all his medals awarded by the first president of Taiwan. The medals were later destroyed (tossed into a well by my nan) during the Japanese occupation as any sign of Chinese patriotism would have earned my whole family the ultimate retribution - Beheading - which just simply wouldn't do, since it would bereft all you peeps of my beauteous self and the wonders of my company…Ok, ok...just a tad narcissistic, but the facade of arrogance has its uses...
Anyhow, I digress…
Moving on swiftly…During China's political struggle (not surprised if they have another revolution again, the rate things are going), in which the Communists emerged victorious, my great-grandfather decided to jump ship, and ended up in Indonesia where he married a Malay local (He had another wife back in China, still living today)…Years passed, my paternal granddad was born and upon adulthood, married a Cantonese woman from Singapore (still a British colony at the time), one of the daughters of a renown contractor in Her Majesty's service. Replicas have been made of some of my great-grandfather’s work, and one of the buildings he’d had a hand in constructing remains one of our ancestral homes to this date. There’s also been talk that we are somehow distantly related to one of the businessmen pioneers of Singapore, but my grasp of that region's history is somewhat hazy…All I've been told is that many of my ancesters were fairly illustrious characters, and our background is somewhat...er...sensational...and that's putting it mildly...From what I've heard, the skeletons in our closet put the Royal Family to shame!
I hope you’re taking notes, ‘cos there will be a test after this! :-p
Anyhow, sometime during WWII, my family made another strategic retreat, this time to Shanghai and then to Hong Kong where my father spent his early childhood…Fast forward to when he married my mother (from Penang in Malaysia), who was half-Thai…Her Teochew dad had three wives, the youngest of which (my mother’s mother) was Siamese…Sadly, my maternal grandma died not long after my mother was born. My mother herself passed on when I was 8, and my dad re-married another woman…also from Penang, and also half-Thai…Hmmm…Is it just me or is there a pattern emerging? My step-mum is also very similar to my natural mother in temperament (fiery, like me), but she was Chinese-educated whilst my biological mother was British-educated, same as my dad…Unlike my step-mum who’s quite…erm…robust, my natural mother's very petite and remained physically child-like up to the day she died (car accident), when she was about 40…I suppose I take after her in that respect...her size and youthful outlook, I meant, not her untimely demise!
So I guess this makes me (biologically) Chinese, Malay and Thai!
Weird thing is, loads of people keep thinking I'm Japanese...I've been stopped by Japanese tourists asking for directions in their own language whilst on holiday in Singapore, followed by profuse apologies when they realise I'm not of the same racial stock. Quite a few of my Chinese friends get that a lot too...Apparently, the stereotypical features most people have of what Japanese women possess include doe-eyes, fair-skin, button noses, and full rose-bud lips...But that description could just as easily fit a Chinese...I wonder if Japanese people get mistaken for Chinese just as often...
Mixed race marriages are not uncommon in my family due to our nomadic inclinations…Some of my cousins are half-Irish (I have relatives living in Essex too), and some are half-Indian. Even my daughter is half-English…Very confusing, I know…Potpourri is a nice way to put it…Personally, I consider it more like Rojak, an Indian salad dish…one big murky sticky mess (tasty though!) where you can’t distinguish what’s what...Hehehe…We’ve been all over the place, which can get quite tedious…Now, all I want to do is settle down in one fixed location and NOT MOVE...Grrr…
Q.014. Do you have a British
accent?
Yes, sort of...It's kind of a hybrid...Most people have identified it as a strong Southern accent...I have been told that I can sound rather posh at times, although I do swallow my 't's every now and then when I get excited...Even though I was born in London (Islington), I have lived all over the place, so discerning listeners can also detect a slight twang of something else...sort of American-ish, cross-atlantic (although someone was under the impression that I was South- African after a phone conversation...But he works at the Jobcentre, and they all drink a little too much coffee there. It's the stress, you see)... I believe there is no such thing as a 'natural' accent...ALL accents are acquired...They are not inborn...you pick up an accent from your surroundings over time, and just like one's personality, it is subject to change. You can either embrace it or choose to resist.
Anyhow, I recently recorded an audio clip for a friend who works for a Radio Station, so you can listen to it here.
I think it's pretty cool that my accent reflects my mixed background and the fact that I've been around, especially when you take into account today's multi-cultural society. It tends to create a few raised-eyebrow moments when I'm travelling around Asia though...as the way I speak tends to offend some Asians a wee bit...(Yeah, WOT'EVA...[ROLLS EYES] )
Do seek help if you are one of them...
Note: These insecurities are YOURS...Keep them to yourself and don't make others suffer for them.
Some people dismiss me as less 'Asian' because I sound Western...But what makes them an authority on what defines 'Asian-ness' (for want of a better word)? Who is in position to dictate such parameters? To those who know me well, I make it a point to brush up on my other languages, and ensure that my child does the same...I try to maintain certain Oriental traditions / customs (I believe in keeping culture alive), place great emphasis on family values (This is why so many Asian countries can survive without an official welfare system...We take care of our own), attempt to show no disrespect to my elders (though they may not always deserve it), and refuse to break little habits (It's the little things that make up the big picture) such as not throwing away leftovers (my nan taught me never to waste food as there are starving children in Africa!!!! :-p As a result, our fridge contains several 'Tupperwares' of just a couple of potatoes or a few spoonfuls of stew, or half an onion wrapped in clingfilm...oh, how this amuses David), saving all used wrapping paper, using the 'finger technique' when measuring water in our rice cooker, and checking to see if I have to remove my shoes before I enter someone else's home etc. I would like to think that my mixed heritage has given me the chance to combine the best of both worlds.
I get a lot of Asians expressing outrage at my displays of 'liberalism', claiming that mothers should not behave thus (as if having children dictates that life has to revolve completely around family, and nothing else...Christ! What planet do these people live on? If all women thought the same, the world would be very short on actresses, models, female politicians, doctors and other exemplary career women who can effectively juggle all aspects of public and private life! Personally, I think having an unconventional, free-spirited mother sets a pretty cool example...Yes, as with everything, there is a downside - such as dealing with the narrow-minded - but behaving the complete opposite is just as beset with many disadvantages)…and that me being an exhibitionist lets down the entire culture...Yet another example of non-progressive thinking...Life doesn't come with only two settings - black or white. One has to be seriously myopic to not realise that the world of the living is in technicolour. Why can't we simply accept the possibility that we can advance as a race?
Asian conservatism is a huge con, used to cover up major inadequacies (such as repression), and nothing short of hypocrisy…People are people…Scratch the surface of any culture, and you’ll discover even more similarities in all of them than was immediately apparent. David spent two months in Tokyo a few years back, and I have it on very good authority, that Japan (contrary to popular belief) is one of the most liberal countries in the world (It's pretty obvious in their media, fashion, and sense of adventure)…even more so than the UK or US. Japan takes the practice of democracy to extremes. And if TV programmes are anything to go by, Taiwan seems to be quickly following in its footsteps…The Orient is commonly known as a sex industry hotspot, and does not the Karma Sutra (or the Chinese equivalent of conserving and administering sexual ‘Yang’), the world-renown guide to carnal pleasures, come from the East?
Pirated hardcore pornography is openly sold on the streets of Penang (also other parts of Malaysia), and I have noticed some of those stalls are manned by kids, only a few years older than my daughter…with none of the passers-by batting an eyelid...I find that quite sick, if truth be told...You would not see that happening anywhere in the UK (apart from a few ‘Page 3’ magazines on the top shelves of corner shops, which are hardly wild…comparatively), often criticised as one of the most prudish societies in Europe.
Street prostitution is not exclusively Western...14-year-old Asian schoolgirls in Malaysia, and even Singapore, prowl the streets late at night in search of punters, NOT because they are so poverty-stricken they cannot afford to have three meals on the table…Oh noooo…they do this because they want to buy ‘nice things’, like designer goods. I have even heard of women threatening to leave their boyfriends who rightly object to their choice of career, just so they can continue to work in girly bars to support their expensive ‘lifestyle’. Of course, there are the odd exceptions where women are forced into this vocation and I don't blame them in the slightest, but it appears much of it is down to personal choice.
Certainly, the red-light districts in Thailand, the Philippines, Hong Kong and Japan are notorious and every year, thousands of tourists from all over flock there for only one purpose in mind…You’ll note that this rarely happens the other way round…You don’t hear of anyone willing to pay hundreds of pounds to visit America just to wallow in the company of its hookers…The 'Geisha / Suzy Wong syndrome' is very much alive today because we can still find these stereotypes around! But that in itself is not shocking…
…What I have found more jaw-dropping is the blasé attitude of Asian women themselves…and I am not talking about your average call-girl whose livelihood depends on sexual favours…Awhile back, a story of MARRIED Singapore women (many of whom were mothers, and well into their middle-age) secretly journeying to Thailand, minus their husbands (but of course), so that they could indulge in various sexual escapades, was making headlines in The New Paper (One of their local tabloid rags anyway...Can’t remember the date of publication now). Apparently, cost (both of the monetary and emotional variety) was no barrier.
I had initially thought this was an exaggeration at first, and asked a Singaporean friend about it…She affirmed it by laughing at my naive reaction and even called me a Western country bumpkin…It turned out that such Asian promiscuity is more widespread than I had mistakenly believed, and even my newly-married friend was enjoying quite a few flings on the side (like so many others), and judged herself to be more worldly than myself. I’m not considered wild by her standards. I have to say, I was very disturbed by this, but it is not my place to judge her. It's her life, so the Byro's in her hand...She can draw the line anywhere she likes.
I may be a little more unrestrained when single and available (having experienced a few open, no-strings-attached relationships), but in all my life, I have NEVER cheated on anyone, whether in thought or deed, and I do not intend to start now or EVER! If I was ever unhappy in a relationship, I would first end it (after an attempt to make things work) before looking elsewhere.
Women from China (and a few other parts of Asia, where mail-order brides come from) are reputed for being extremely gung-ho in using their feminine wiles to snare rich husbands. This is evident even on the site FriendX where many female (and male) members blatantly prostitute themselves by demanding a certain fee in exchange for ‘fun’. I make no such offers…I may appear to all as a strumpet, but the point is that I make it obvious that I am DAVID'S strumpet...(Objectification is really a form of empowerment, not degradation...I know that's not under discussion right now, but whilst we're at it...My only criticism of porn is that we don't really know enough about its so-called 'stars'...I suggest putting them in scenarios which allow them to be more 'real' to us...such as interviews, better storylines etc...I didn't agree very much with what Annabelle Chong did, but at least her 'documentary' made us see her as a person, a human being, albeit a troubled one...not just a pretty, sexy thing to shag...I have a very different perception of what a slut is...Someone who constantly cheats on his/her other half is a slut...someone who sleeps around with an ulterior motive at another's person's expense, like getting a job promotion, is a slut...Someone who employs his/her sexual assets, even if he/she didn't actually use intercourse per se, in an attempt to hurt or manipulate someone else is a slut...Behaviour like that is not what I'd call sexual liberation...That's not what it's about...And just as it is possible to be a slut with one's hymen remaining intact, you can be comfortable with your sexuality even as a bona fide virgin or celibate, so long as that's what you truly want...I also really resent top shelf magazines...It's not the nudity that offends me, but the thought that young impressionable children, who aren't yet able to make educated choices, should be looking at them...Anyhooooo...erm...where was I?)...Exhibitionism is hardly a Western 'invention' (and neither is homosexuality, come to think of it), nor is it an entirely new concept (Welcome to the 21st century! Did you miss the last few millennia? Just where have you been all this while?)…Almost everyone has such tendencies (although most are not honest enough to admit it, and take offence when faced with the truth), albeit on different levels…which is why so many of us are on the net constantly bleating: ‘look at me’, ‘be my friend’, 'read what I have to say'…and why fashion and cosmetics are among the most lucrative industries in the world.
Q.015. What languages do you
speak?
English - Obviously...I think it, speak it, write it...My natural parents were British-educated, so it's my first language.
Mandarin - I can hold a decent conversation, but would not go as far as to say I'm as fluent as I'd want to be. Let's just say I won't be getting any jobs as a translator. My pronunciation's a bit off, and my vocabulary isn't sophisticated enough. Also, I'm practically illiterate with regards to this particular tongue. I am trying to remedy that though!
Cantonese - I can understand everyday speech, but for some reason, when I start speaking this dialect, people either fall about laughing or look at me blankly. But, be patient, I'm working on it.
Hokkein - Same as the latter. (Spoken in Malaysia, Taiwan and the Fujian Province in China)
Teochew - My command of this language is about as useful to me as a parachute to a kamikaze pilot.
Malay - I know enough words to greet, communicate everyday needs, and bark out basic commands...and my favourite word is MAKAN!!!!!
Japanese - ICHIBAN ICHIBAN ICHIBAN!!!
Thai - I know a smattering of words...but not enough to get me very far, even when accompanied by frantic gesticulation.
French - Er...pas très bien...I had lessons in Beginner's French, and even managed to write a simple essay. But then failed miserably in my oral exam, because I didn't turn up...I just didn't like my teacher...That says it all, doesn't it?
Tagalog - I can call you a 'silly girl' in this language, but that's about it...hehehe...
Danish - Can you say 'lille eskimit'?
Gibberish - Very fluent...I have an MA and PHD in it, absence of alcohol notwithstanding (I'm sort of teetotal). Still, all hope is not lost...I've been known to engage in witty and intelligent conversation, even with creatures possessing less than four legs.
Other languages I would love to learn are Spanish, Russian and Latin.
Q.016. What is your
nationality?
Q.017. Do you practise any kind of religion?
A.017.
Sort of...I'm a
Taoist-Pagan. I've even built an
Online Temple where people can
Post-A-Prayer.
Q.018. What the hell’s a
Taoist-Pagan?
You would NOT be asking me this if you'd simply clicked on the link I provided (THRICE, in case you hadn't noticed!)!!!
Q.019. Are
you superstitious?
A.019. Yes...I take care not to repeat
anyone's name three times if standing before a mirror, am a big floozy who lives
in terror of the number 13, and will never refer to
'that Scottish play' by name. :-p
Q.020. Do you believe
that ghosts exist?
A.020.
Let's just say that I'm open-minded enough to believe in Possibilities, but will live my life like there's no tomorrow...carpe
diem...
I don't trust any of the mumbo jumbo you get on TV these days...Charlatans, all of them!
Q.021.
Which of the 7 deadly sins are you most guilty of?
A.021. Either
pride or wrath, depending on who you ask.
Q.022. Why do
you call yourself a geek-chick?
A.022.
There are many different types of geek manifestations, and I'm a mish-mash of a few...Apparently, I
meet the 'criteria' in so far as tastes, interests
and mannerisms go...I don't
really like things that are mainstream (I listen to SAGA Digital...LOL),
wear glasses that are falling apart (only when I've run out of my contact
lenses' cleaning solution!), and people think I'm pretty fey and a little eccentric (strange
enough to enjoy going to the cinema on my own), or weird
if they want to be mean...I'll admit I'm really scatty, and not altogether
'there' most of the time...I enjoy
boho/gothic/sci-fi/fantasy stuff...am bookish, am a Buffy freak (when I
had a TV in my own home anyway), love X-men comics, and can't live without my comp
and the net (I'm on it
24/7)...I also like
gaming, but only adventure games like Myst....often take things apart
to see if I can put them back together again...Loads of people have
called me a geek, which didn't make me very popular in school, but they're prolly the ones that are in prison now...LOL...David says I sometimes remind
him of Willow in Buffy or Michelle in American Pie.
Q.023. What’s your fashion style?
A.023. Eclectic...Why limit yourself to one
style? I
like experimenting, and don't always follow the trends in magazines or buy an outfit because of
its label (I'm not dumb enough to pay all that money just to have someone else's name on me,
but won't say 'no' if it's a gift or if it's a nice-looking fake)...I just wear what looks good on me...I could look like some gothic/manga
type character off the streets of Tokyo one day, and be wearing a vintage-chic
chiffon summer dress with tweed blazer the next...But today, I'm in a pair of jeans and a
roll-neck
jumper...You just can't beat comfort!!! My next fashion buy will be a pair of
wellies with pretty flowery prints all over (
[CUE FOR AUSTIN POWERS IMPRESSION]
Yeah, baby!), or should I get an old-fashioned mini
bonnet, or...or...or one of these cute
mini top hats,
or maybe a flapper dress from the jazz/art-deco age?! Hmmm...maybe a
wrap-around gown to lounge around in, or a short body-hugging silk brocade
jacket trimmed with white fur? Ooooh...I shall have to consult
my Magic 8 Ball! At present, I have prolly got enough clothes and accessories
to fill 5 wardrobes and a few chests of drawers (a look for every occasion...aaaah...gone
are the days when we had to change attire several times a day...an outfit for
walking, one for playing the piano, and another for dinner)....and still hoping to add to
it...wish I could one day have a massive computerised walk-in wardrobe the
size of a small ballroom. :-D''
I'm really into cosplay as well, but that's a new interest of mine, so I haven't much to show for it...yet...I'm now in the process of saving up for a good sewing machine...I'm hoping to make my first costume to resemble that of Yuna's in Final Fantasy...the oh-so surreal pseudo-kimono Summoner's outfit...I'm not a big fan of FFX, nor do I play the games...But I absolutely love the costumes...Anyhow...I think making the costumes would be the most difficult procedure (but still part of the fun)...Getting into character would not be much of a problem for me (Oh pish posh...It's easy peasy lemon squeezy...I used to win acting awards in school, remember?), especially since I normally choose those I can relate to...
Q.024.
What’s your favourite perfume?
A.024. I don’t use
perfume, but I’ve made my own essential oils moisturiser out of Sweet
Almond oil, Sandalwood oil, and Lavender oil…and it smells
divine.
Q.025.
Plastic Surgery: Yay or Nay?
A.025. Funny
you should ask...David and I were just having a discussion about it...must
have been sparked off by all the recent hype surrounding Michael Jackson.
Not something I'd go for unless I’d been horribly disfigured in an accident or by an illness…I believe it should only be used to return what nature gave to you in the first place, or correct something which went wrong at birth.
As for breast implants...NO WAAAY!!! Big boobs are well and nice, but with my frame, no one would believe they're real even if they truly were. I don't really want to go through life with people thinking that of me. Better to be called 'flat' than 'fake' is what I say! There's no shame in having small tits. They don't sag as soon, for a start...Besides, there are many men who either like tiny pert boobs, or are not bothered either way. David's one of the few men who actually finds big boobs a turn-off. The ONLY problem I have is the great difficulty in getting clothing and underwear that fit me, and for that reason alone, I'd consider trying out the F-Cup Cookie...But at least whatever I end up with will all be naturally mine! (Besides, I could never say 'no' to chocolate!)
Much of my lingerie collection comes from the teenage/child section of stores...You have no idea how 'grown-up' kids' clothing can look these days! I manage to get hold of well-fitting petite underwear from the women's department from time to time, but it often annoys me that small bras are either painfully under-wired, or heavily-padded...Don't these people understand that I DON'T actually want to look big and busty??? I just want to look natural, like ME...not like a walking, talking set of overgrown udders!!! I am woman enough to know that femininity resides in the mind and not on one's chest.
Q.026. Are you Anorexic/Bulimic?
Now, which part of that did you not get?
Besides, as you can see from my pics, I'm hardly a poster child for Auschwitz...Do I look like I'm starving??? [RAISED EYEBROW]
No, I didn't think so...
Those people who assume anyone who's skinny must be ill are prolly the same ones who bang on about thin models in magazines. There is very little evidence to show that those in the afore-mentioned profession make a habit of periodically regurgitating the contents of their stomach. It's just something people WANT to believe...Actually, MOST models are a normal, healthy size 10 (many agencies even reject those who are under...I'm an exception, which is why I've been relegated to the ranks of 'petite modelling'...By the way, it IS possible to be BOTH thin AND curvey!!!), and what's wrong with that? Anyone who thinks a size 10 is dead skinny and anorexic has some serious problems...How obese must you be to think that??? Why should we have to deliberately feature certain types of people just to make insecure individuals feel better about themselves? Because this is what's prompted this great big fuss, isn't it? They have to cast thin women in an ugly light so being fat will seem more acceptable...It makes them feel better...Look, if you're THAT insecure, you're not going to be satisfied with yourself no matter who appears on the pages of magazines...you'll only look for something else to whine about...the answer to your unhappiness resides in yourself, not on pieces of paper...Don't moan unless YOU are willing to do something about about the way YOU look and feel, and DON'T make attractive people feel bad because they can't help they way they look...I can understand how a person could get all lustful about how gorgeous someone is, but no one could get truly passionate about something as piffling and inconsequential as the physical unattractiveness of others without there being some malice involved, and quite frequently, jealousy as well. Women only bitch about this because they wish they looked just as gorgeous, whilst their long-suffering partners are obliged to stand by, commiserate and nod sagely. (Look ladies, he's not with you because of your physique, so be happy that you're lucky enough to have found true love in this lifetime!) And let's not go into the whole sour grapes approach of single men who are constantly rejected by the slim and beautiful...Apparently, men tend to prefer curvey women, but I suspect the 'curves' they have in mind are more hour-glass than barrel-shaped! (Although smaller waistlines are usually more attainable by women with slimmer figures, the key lies not in size, but proportion...) But then again, men aren't a terribly fussy lot...As feminists like Germaine Greer and Naomi Wolfe have pointed out, the styles adopted by women to create desirability are more often than not rooted in a tendency to "dress for each other", participating in "rituals of shopping, dressing up, adolescent identity parades, masquerade and the concept of same-sex looking"...Many people insist we have only big women featured (what about the male models in magazines? I notice men haven't made THAT much of an issue about their weight)...They bang on about how REAL women should be featured...so...er...what's 'real' then? Does it mean anyone under a size 12 is only a figment of imagination???? Ok, so we have larger women in magazines...Wouldn't that just create the same problem?...We'll only end up having thin people up and down the country forming picket lines! Where do you draw the line then? Why not have a good mixture? A range of women from small to larger sizes, but without glorifying either anorexia OR obesity? After all, if beauty can appear in any form, Size-Zeroes would also be included...Everyone makes such a big deal about the small percentage of thin women, but nary a peep when larger sizes are introduced even though obesity is getting to be a pretty hefty issue. I think we should really be more concerned about why people are getting so obsessed with slagging off thin women.
This brings me to another subject, equally related...
Some people are also of the opinion that models should not be airbrushed...In principle, I can see their point, ESPECIALLY when an photo has been doctored to the extent that the person in it becomes completely unrecognisable...However, the fashion images in magazines are not meant to be reportage, nor a true representation of the average woman...They only show us what we aspire to be, and the fact is that most women do want to be that goddess they see immortalised in the glossies...Otherwise, how else could all this marketing work so well?We're all human, so everyone has their bad hair/skin days...Granted, models have the benefit of good lighting, re-touching, cosmetics etc etc, but photographers and stylists only have so much to work with (and not a lot of time), so who can blame them for selecting the best canvas available for the task in hand?...These women were chosen because they're beautiful in the first place, and 'airbrushing' only arranges it so we see them as how they would normally look when that little spot on their forehead has cleared up...Even looking their worst (as can be seen in some of these paparazzi pictures, most of these goddesses still look much better than the average Jane. I have to say with great pride as a model, however, that the photographers I've worked with have told me my images required little manipulation, which is outside the norm, since good cameras usually magnify all flaws, even those that are barely noticeable in real life. Hey! Should I add these references to my portfolio too? Haha, it was probably just great lighting and plastered-on make-up that made me look good! :-p
In general, photographers hate doing too much Photoshopping...Why the hell should they when fashion houses already fork out a great deal to use women whose job it is to keep themselves looking nearly flawless (celebrities are another matter entirely)? Why should they have to waste more time and money on someone who doesn't look up to scratch? So what if it's a harsh industry? These models are getting paid tons of money for a choice that they have willingly made.
Magazines are like glorified versions of the Yellow Pages with better eye candy. Fact is, a story wouldn't be in there unless it sells...These pics are just advertising, or works of art meant to appeal to a particular audience...I'm sure that in his magnum opus, Da Vinci didn't give detailed attention to every single blemish on the Mona Lisa (whoever she is). The model is just a prop...like every other object in the same image. When I'm selling a car, I'm not going to put a picture of it dented and spotted with dirt (unless it's to make a point that fits in with the context of the commercial) in the ad...I'll present it in the best way I can...Similarly, if I'm selling a dress, I'm going to make damned sure the image is flawless in every way possible, so that I can show my product to its best advantage ("Aha!" I hear you say..."That's only assuming everyone shares your opinion that whatever it is you're selling looks best on that person"...Here, we move into the realms of what constitutes 'Beauty'...I do have something to say about that...but not yet...Just read on). Flaws will only draw attention away from what I'm promoting...Let's face it, although no one's perfect and the odd blemish doesn't detract all that much from one's beauty, spots/lines/scars/stretchmarks (tell-tale signs that your body has taken a knocking of sorts) are still flaws no matter how you look at it...At best, they only make you look more 'interesting', though that too is debatable...Advertisers cleverly feature mature women in their campaigns, telling us that getting older doesn't mean getting uglier...Sneaky gits! People just don't seem to realise that those so-called mature models were picked out because they're still good-looking as compared to your 'average' mature woman. There is no way around it...Age is a sign that your body is deteriorating...It's really up to you to accept it and deal with the situation gracefully...Given a choice, we'd all want to be devoid of such markings and 'look' young forever (no matter our age)...It takes someone with a really warped sense of perspective (or someone who's just trying to prove a point) to wish the opposite on him/herself. What really gets on my nerves though, is when a magazine feature recommends a particular garment for someone with a specific figure, such as a person on the chubby side, but then has images of stick-thin women modelling said garment on those pages...I've also often noticed that when they encourage the petite and small-busted to try out a type of lingerie suitable for their size, the model is inevitably a busty blonde!! I mean, how on earth does that illustrate their point???!!
[RAISED EYEBROW]"We have to accept laughter lines and a less than flat stomach as part of getting older, but you'd have to be a die-hard cynic not to want to believe that the huge array of products out there can improve things. That's where our aspirational streak kicks in: the part of us - be honest now - that looks at an image of a beautiful model and hopes that, on our very best day, after much application of cosmetics, we might possibly approximate her." - Reality Check in Easy Living
Beauty - Right...I believe there are two kinds of Beauty...The one that the eye sees, and the one that the mind sees...The former has to do with symmetry...Nature has accorded the dimensions of all living things with the divine ratio (otherwise known as Phi) of 1:1.618...You see it in animals, and even in plants...Dissect a fruit, and you'll find that the number of segments is a Fibonacci number...And if you look at trees or flowers, you'll find that the progressive arrangements of branches or petals (respectively) possess the same ratio...the same equation can be found in the features of animals, corals, insects etc etc...even the entire solar system...Take the measurements of the length of your arm (from tip of middle finger to shoulder), and then divide it by the length of your arm from tip of middle finger to elbow, and what do you get? Something very very CLOSE to 1.618 I'll bet (well, like I said before, nobody's perfect!), if your measurements are accurate. See, it's all about proportion...you may think it's too clinical to subscribe to mathematical notions when it comes to defining Beauty (since it belongs to loftier ideals of abstraction), but consider this...why would nature make all her children this way??? Do you ever see any animals in the wild who are obese (apart from those who have health problems...and again, this is very telling as all who stray from nature's specifications are 'damaged' or 'ill' in some way...so it's not as superficial as you may think, huh)??? Do all creatures of the same species vary as much in shape and size as us humans do??? From one extreme to another? Sure, you get a few pets who are fat because their owners overfeed them, but what about those who have not been domesticated? I assure you that if a lion is fat, it will not live for very long...because it cannot hunt...it will not be able to survive...We were all made to obey the laws of nature, and nature is not a very forgiving deity...All of us have a built-in mechanism to recognise beauty...anything out of proportion will look wrong to the eye...Animals know this in their courting rituals (wolves even go as far as alienating, rejecting or attacking those of their kind that look 'different' from the rest of their pack)...they can sense any 'deformity' which will hinder the reproduction process, and we are no different...When you walk down a street, the ones who stand out will be those who are either very beautiful or terribly ugly...You won't know what type of people they are, so you can only form your opinions on what they look like...and scientific tests have been done to show that those who are striking also tend to be symmetrical...(obviously you don't take into account moles, dimples etc since they aren't salient 'features' as such).
Some people might wonder how this could be the case when in ages past, it was considered desirable for women to be...er...well-endowed...That's just a myth...These women were revered not because they looked beautiful, but because they were seen to possess child-bearing hips (it was mistakenly believed that the bigger she was, the more children she could produce!), essential assets for their role in society was largely connected to rearing/nurturing the young...Priorities were different then, and people were more interested in fertility, producing offspring to pass on their names, and generally expanding the human race. In reality though, the dainty hourglass figure with its wasp waist was greatly coveted (as it still is now, with the coordinates 34-24-34 mapping out the anatomical atlas of the perfect female figure...or 36-24-36 if you're a fan of models like Jordan aka Katie Price)...Why else do you think women had to strap themselves into such disagreeable contraptions like the corset?
But then again, we are not beasts at our most primitive (hmmm...not all of us anyway)...The human brain carries around all sorts of baggage which complicates things...We think differently, express ourselves differently, setting us apart from other creatures in the food chain, and it is this which affects my second definition of beauty...A man may think his wife is the most beautiful woman in the world no matter what she looks like because he loves her, nevermind that everyone else thinks he needs glasses...All mothers think their kids are gorgeous, and vice versa...Our minds allow us to overwrite some of the programming that nature originally instilled in us...But not completely...Some of you will ask why it is that some of us fancy fat people, and some don't...but that can almost be classed as a 'perversion' of sorts...or 'persuasion' if you want to put it in a kinder way...However, the eye will still adhere to symmetry...For instance, Hugh Grant, or Tom Cruise, don't press any of my buttons...But I wouldn't go as far as to say they are ugly...Sure, they do nothing for me, but if I'm honest with myself, even I can see (from a purely pragmatic viewpoint) that they are healthy and good-looking individuals. By that same token, someone who is not beautiful could still be found attractive. I suspect that a lot of people lie about what they truly think about a person's looks...whether out of malice or jealousy, or perhaps they've experienced something freakish in their past which has altered their subconscious. (Why are some people so threatened by confident and beautiful individuals? If more of us had a greater sense of self-worth like them, there'd be less wars!) The point is that there is a difference between something that is utterly attractive and something that's merely aesthetically pleasing...It's all down to taste, and nothing to do with Beauty. This is where the rest of the package like personality, mannerisms, poise, intelligence etc etc all come in...All these transcend Beauty.
For more of my views regarding Beauty and Brains, read my blog.
Q.027. Who is the most important person in your
life, and why?
A.027.
I have more than one...David, 'cos
he's my other half (It sometimes feels like we're pieces of a puzzle that
belong together...I
could almost hear them 'clicking' into place when I first got to know
him...We must be on the same frequency, if you know what I mean...This perhaps explains why we are so
compatible and 'fit' together so well); Zhouyi, my daughter; Gabriel, my younger half-
brother.
I suppose me parents as well, but parents are always important...
Q.028. What is your best memory?
A.028.
I have two...The birth of my daughter, second
('cos of the pain of labour...'twas worth it though!) only to THAT moment I spent in David's arms, which went exactly like this:
26 February 2002 (Very late at night)
"I love you from here...to there..."
"And where, exactly, is 'there'?"
"The end of the universe."
"But isn't the universe infinite?"
"Exactly..."
Now, THAT'S what I call Eternal...
I'm waiting for him to ask me (again) to marry him so I can add another happy memory to this prized collection.
Q.029. What’s BPD / IBS?
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But I'm only ever like this about my own stuff, and in my defense, I'd just like to remind everyone that it is NECESSARY for me to be anal so as to compensate for my natural scattiness...I'm the type of person who freaks when everything's not perfect...If you so much as move an ornament a millimetre, I'll freak (And trust me, I measured, so I KNOW when it's not in the exact centre). Should the corner of my towel so much as graze the floor, I'll freak, and throw the damn thing in the washing machine again. If the furniture, 'Tupperware' or stationery etc doesn't match, I'll freak...Anything less than an 'A' is failure...I even colour-code and size-code my wardrobe (with hangers all facing the right way!), find filing and organising quite fun, write looong lists for everything, leave post-it notes everywhere...and refuse to eat eggs if the yolks' re broken.
Q.031. If you were an animal, what would you be?
A.031.
Anything sleek and feline, with speed, extraordinary vision and senses, sharp teeth and claws…Definitely a
predator.
Q.032. What’s your worst habit?
A.032. Being late, talking to myself (bad enough that you can suss that out from reading my blog, but it's been known to happen in public as well!) and doing last minute
work because I've been distracted by shite like this!!! LOL
Oh, and forgetting to take my loopy pills!!
Q.033. What’s the
worst thing you’ve ever done?
A.033.
That’s classified
information...Ssshhh...
Huh? Oh, those bits of skeleton bones on my compost heap? They're just leftover chicken from last night's dinner, yer honour...er hem...[COUGH COUGH]
Q.034. What’s the most
impulsive thing you’ve ever done?
A.034.
I have done many impulsive things in my life...If someone were to write my
life story, my past would just be a chronology of one thoughtless deed (or
crisis) after another...But the one thing that stands out in my mind right
now is the marriage proposal I'd seriously accepted from someone I'd never
even met (and for a time, we didn't even know what each other looked
like)...This was over the internet...In my defence, he
was
someone I'd been communicating with for the past 6 to 7 years or so, and
our correspondence was intense...
I have not changed my mind since...
I am still with David, and (as of 2009) we've been living together for the past 7 years. :-)
Q.035. What's one POSITIVE thing you are really
good at?
A.035.
Er...I can walk without falling
over...sometimes...
Q.036. Are you special?
A.036.
LMAO!!! Oh this is just getting better and
better...
No. Unless you mean 'am I disabled', then yes...my brain doesn't work. Can I have a new one? Look, I even kept the receipt...no, wait...oops, that appears to be the prescription for my loopy pills...
Q.037. What is your greatest strength as a
person?
A.037.
LOL...That does it...No more drugs for
you...
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