>>>FAQ<<<
Created: 10/11/04
Modified: 22/04/08
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"Objectify me and I'll
objectify you, and that will be our highest form of love. I don't want anything
intricate. I don't need S/M, special novel sex, touch-my-clit-this-way sex, be
sure to screw me only when the scent of rotten apples is filling the bed, make
sure that Vivaldi is playing, that the Backstreet Boys are blaring, fuck me with
pornography weighing us down on the bed, sit in the corner and dial up a 900
woman who will give you a blow job over the phone, and whack off for me - while
you retain a calm voice over the phone, shoot your spunk onto a centrefold, take
a bite of steak before making out with me, plant tulips and mangoes and apricots
in my cunt and eat them out of me, bronze my nipples and put them in the
Smithsonian, cast your torso and let me carry it around as a handbag, open up a
small café in my pussy and invite your parents and all your friends over for
coffee, look into my eyes and let your pupils dilate as you come and mouth my
name - and when you make me come, it's like a house with a goddamn chimney
flowing because you are home."
- From Feminist Writer Erin Cressida Wilson to her husband.
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>>> PRODUCTS & SERVICES
Q.136. What services do you
offer? And are you qualified?
A.136. Apart
from the modelling, most of my work is editorial/creative...Take your pick from
any of the below:
Graphic Design
Promotional
Articles
Magazine/Newsletter Features (encompassing a wide variety of topics, from the art of
Asian animators to the art of parenting)
Web Content (includes some design
work)
Press
Releases
Copywriting
Proofreading
(very useful if you're a student, foreign or otherwise)
Reviews
Brochure/Flyer Text & Slogans
Magazine
Layouts
Public
Relations
Company
Profiles
Word Processing
Mailshots
All that for a modest fee starting from £5/h or £15 fixed rate, depending on assignment...Prices are subject to negotiation.
And yes, I am qualified, and have experience in this field...
Clicking on the link to my Media Portfolio will lead you to my CV and work samples.
My modelling and styling rates are similarly affordable, usually £15 - £20/h (depending on assignments) on top of any expenses (eg. Travel). However, if prints are provided, then we may have to come to a separate agreement as you'll get a discount or full TFP. Please read about my policy in my Model Portfolio, or click on the banner above which will lead you to another agency I'm with. But my Photo Gallery would be a better place to view all my images. Some of the styling (mainly clothes/accessories) was done by me as well.
Q.137. When will your official
site be up and running?
A.137. Er...Lemme
get back to you on that...NEXT!
Q.138. Can I donate any money to
your cause?
A.138. Yes! I
thought you'd never ask! I have a Verified UK Premier PayPal Account which I
usually use for eBay transactions. Feel free to make any monetary contributions
by clicking on the PayPal logo at the bottom of the page...If the link doesn't work, please
inform me by
leaving a message in my Guestbook.
Q.139. Er…What is your cause?
A.139. Just
plain old-fashioned poverty...I'm trying to eradicate it...
From my own life, of course...what did you think?
Or perhaps put money towards an anti-chav movement...
The only stable income we have comes mainly from David...I'm just a poor student...I really wish people would cut us students some slack...We're only trying to better ourselves so we can get a better job, contribute more to the economy, pay our taxes etc...Yeah, I know we could prolly work out a way to add to our meagre finances by getting a part-time job, but the point is that we shouldn't have to...We should be treating our education as a full-time occupation, and any student who's working part-time (discounting course-related work experience), can tell you that his academic commitments do suffer because of it...and of the few who are lucky enough to do reasonably well at uni whilst working will admit that they could have done even better if all those hours spent scraping money together had been put towards their assignments. If a country is willing to dole out money to chavs who do nothing but sit on their arses whilst withholding aid from those who make a concerted effort to improve their lives, I'd say the time management of students is the least of its worries.
Alright, alright...I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm a charity case (and I'm certainly not holding my hand out for Benefits right now), but you're more likely to have a MUCH healthier bank balance than I do, and every little helps...even if it's only 50p!!! :-p
Besides, we're also saving up to go visit our little daughter in South-East Asia next year...I know there's still time to get the dosh together, but I'd like to make a start on it soon...Once the squids (aka earth pounds) start rolling into our piggy bank, I'll upload our Squid-o-Meter here so you can see how far we've got.
Q.140. Why should I donate my
hard-earned
money to YOU?
A.140.
Pick any of the
following:
You are kind
and generous.
You think I'm absolutely
adorable.
You are filthy rich and would
like someone to relieve you of such a burden.
You've got this far, fair indication
that you've just had an entertaining half-hour or so.
I'll admit, there are prolly other people more worthy of your bounty, such as tobacco companies, sweatshop factories, drug dealers and pub owners. So no, you don't HAVE to give me any of your money. No one's putting a gun to your head. In fact, no one's even made you read this. All the same, if you're ever feeling benevolent... [GIGGLES AND FLUTTERS EYELASHES]
Right...enough of the jesting and japing...there are many charity organisations who could do with some help. At time of writing, the tsunami in Southeast Asia has swept away the lives of thousands, and the homes of those who have survived...thus triggering a sudden epidemic of worldwide generosity (Why do most people only give aid when something major happens? As if suffering doesn't happen day-in day-out). Spare a thought for them, and for others as well...If you're reading this, it means you have access to a computer and by extension, Google...Do a search...I'm sure you'll come up loads of charities (Borderline UK and BPD World are just a couple)...At the risk of sounding patronising, I strongly advise that you make sure they're registered / authentic just to be on the safe side. It's all well and good donating money to the needy, but this outbreak of compassion is only going to go to waste if you get caught up in a scam.
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>>> danke <<<